A little help...

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A little help...

by Socorro
(S CA)

Hello all!

I usually don't like to share personal info on such an open forum but I need some help with a family member. My young nephew (17) is going through a very hard time in his life with drugs. He is a very sweet and handsome young man but very sensitive. He lost his Mom (my sister) suddenly about 4 years ago. She was young when she passed. He is taking it much harder than his brothers.

I know everyone on here is busy with their own personal things and with all going on in the world but if you can take a moment to send him good thoughts. He seems very lost and confused. He also does not seem to have an interest in anything. That is what makes me very nervous.

Thank you.

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A little help...

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Apr 18, 2011
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A little hellp....reply
by: Anonymous "C"

Hello...

It always appears to me that the right course and decision is....positive thoughts. Positive thughts open positive doors. This is what "we" can do for him. Also, a predominant spirit of forgiveness, and a heart full of 300% love..at least..are necessary ingredients. To me, the most important ingredient to bring this recipe to completeness is...the power of the Almighty!
Praise God and give God the glory every moment you think of this in any way or have any interaction or communication.

This needs to be given to the only Healer.

Praise and Glory to God...the more the better...as it will bring this situation to a turn around for you and your loved one. The rest is irrelevant. God Bless all of you.

Apr 17, 2011
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bereavement
by: Anonymous

Dear Socorro, I too would like to add something. I do not know which drugs your nephew is using however I was thinking that maybe he could do with some bereavement counseling and to talk to someone not related to the situation.

Any addiction is used to cover up or fill in an emotional void. Your nephew maybe finding it hard to express emotionally what is going on for him inside. It may be an idea for him to express himself through art or writing.

He does not need to be a writer or artist to do this. To drown out his emotions through any addiction is masking the problem and making it worse. speaking personally I have used the green herb on and off for the last 25 years or so and have been dry for the last year. Today is a beautifully sunny day and I am glad to feel my happy emotions. I also exercise regularly to keep my serotonin levels up. He needs to feel and express those emotions in order for him to get better and live a full and rewarding life. Hope it all goes well, keep us posted. Lots of love ER.

Apr 16, 2011
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What about a pet?
by: Lily

Hello Everyone,

Very caring and beautiful words Carole.

This might sound a bit naff, but what about a pet to care for, especially a dog (or cat). Animals are very intuitive.

Perhaps the right animal may be able to show and give him back some vibes that humans cannot.

Just a thought.

I know animals are a big responsibility, I mean it's like taking on a child. But they can give so much and can sense things on another level.

Lily

Apr 16, 2011
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With you on this one...
by: Carole (UK)

ohhh when I read this I really felt your worries. I have a friend who has just lost his wife - the ages seem to match this young boys life. He is 13 and I do watch with concern that his father has the sense to put his own wants to one side and be there for him.

I agree with all that has been written and not much more to add, the fact he is looking at ReHab is a positive sign.

Again, its often about filling the void, especially if he is the youngest one. If so, being the baby so to speak - seems to add a layer of vulnerablity as the older children edge to more independace (nature thing).

Pressure from other groups is the biggest worry, especially if he is trying to "fit in" somewhere (feeling lost). It is so true he will have to hit rock bottom before he come back out, with luck not a total bottom out, but enough to scare him into finding reason for his life.

Often, with the right advice and support, kids like him, especially sensative types can move on to become role models and support agents to help others out of their mess "they know what they are going through as they have been there".

Art, music, drama, anything creative to let him express his anger, frustration into a positive outcome works wonders - it also helps others like him not to feel alone, they see a link, network to express their own frustations and tensions.

Nagging is no good, giving in is no good (like buying them the drugs) - strong support system, the opportunity to express out their issues (via talking or creative ways) and experiance (for themselves and seeing others in such a state) will be his step ladder out of his dark whole.

Some of the most creative people in the world went through their own personal disasters to come out the other end to share their expreiances with others - so dont give up on him, nor lose hope.

Hes just got a little lost and lonely. The basis of this is usually feeling unloved (even if we know its not true) and unaware how our actions are hurting others.

Keep holding your hand out so he knows he is wanted. He has a place in this world, like all of us, he just needs to find it.

Carole xxx

Apr 16, 2011
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thank you all
by: Socorro

Thank you for your continued support and good thoughts. I guess we all have our demons. And yes, he will have to find a replacement for his addiction.

Apr 15, 2011
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Thoughts ...
by: Twi

I haven't got much to add after the sound advice provided my others, except to say my thoughts are with you both.

You could work on replacing those elementals associated with the addiction with something more benign. However, as others have pointed out, the final choice of pathways has to be made by your nephew.

Apr 14, 2011
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Blessings
by: Ju ju man

Sorry to hear of your distress. Most people here have touched on the issues that can heal and help. Coming from a family where addiction issues are strong.

I understand your fears and need for protection. Although as your nephew is young, his vunerability might be experimental and a cry for help while filling a void, and difficulties in articulating his loss of his mother passing.

Addictions may often be overcome, and if it's in a personality, it's a question of putting healthy addictions in place.

He sounds as though he has a fantastic support and aunt in you, that goes so far. Calling his guides to help him, and making him aware he can do the same is from experience a real help. As is change of scenery and nature.

Many blessings, and spring goodness is going out to you.

Apr 14, 2011
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thank you all
by: Socorro

Thank you all for your support and insight. He's not into super hard drugs but he has a problem. He is starting rehab.

All I can do is be there for him unconditionally, esp since his Mom is gone. You guys are right about that. I think it helps to know others care.

:)

Apr 13, 2011
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What Kind?
by: Josh

If you don't mind me asking, what type of drugs?

I can shamefully admit that I've been there, but never got hooked on the strong stuff. Even though I have tried some different ones.

I don't think any of us will mind sending good vibes his way, but the previous advice will stand true in the long run. He will have to want to quit on his own free will. Either by choice or a situation that convinces him it's not the path he wants to take anymore.

Unfortunately a lot of the influence he may be recieving will be from the friends and company he keeps. These ties will have to be severed which is difficult to do. Especially at such a young age where he feels like his friends are all he has.

Addictions aren't all about drugs and we all have them in one form or another. Some are just legal and others not, that's where we sometimes find ourselves in trouble. It happens to a lot of good hearted people.

Apr 13, 2011
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Consider it done...
by: Lily

Hi Socorro,

I can fully understand your concern, Esme gives some good words of advice here. 17 is such a tender age, not fully an adult and not a child. It must be so hard to watch what is happening to him. All you can do is be there for him and love him unconditionally.

I will send him some good stuff this morning. Consider it done.

Love Lily
x

Apr 13, 2011
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pink bubbles
by: Anonymous

Hello Socoro,

You have been such a source of support here over time that I'm only to glad to try and give a little back.

I'm truely touched by both yours and your nephews plight.

I have so much I wish I could say to your nephew but if he is young and his mind clouded he would proberly tell me to pee off!

Drug addiction is such a deep and difficult issue to tackle. Based on many years of experience I am going to try and express what may be unwelcome advice.

Very often if we are close to an addict we want to help them in any way that we can. I know of many parents who have paid dealers for their childrens addictions as they could not bear to see them suffer. Friends and family bailing them out from the messes that they get into and giving unconditional love to the addict despite the pain it causes them.

People become addicts for so many different reasons it's an old argument nature or nuture. It is possible that your nephew would have went down this path regardless of lifes circumstances. The only person who can save him is himself and he has to want to do that.

There is a saying killing with love or co dependancy where by people close to the addict take on roles subconsiously that enable the addict to stay where they are.

As tough as this is and there are no gurantees that it is the right approach I do believe that people have to step back and never enable an addict to live a destructive life.

He will need to reach rock bottom and find the will to change from within. Just be there for him when he does. In the majority of cases this does happen although tradgicaly not always.

What ever happens it is his right to choose his path how ever painful that may be to stand by and watch.

I will think of you both and wish that he finds his inner strength and wants more for himself than the life of an addict.

Love and Rage.

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A little help...

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A little help...